Have you ever met someone who seemed to just “get” you from the very beginning? For INFPs and INFJs, that connection can feel almost magical. Both types are deeply empathetic, introspective, and committed to personal growth. It’s easy to imagine that these two personalities would be the perfect match. However, like any other pairing, there are several differences between them, leading to unique challenges that they have to navigate. How do these similarities and differences play out in real-life relationships? Let’s take a closer look.
But first, let’s have a quick overview of INFJs’ and INFPs’ cognitive functions, which will serve as a reference throughout the article. Cognitive functions are the mental processes- the bricks that build the house which is your personality! Even though they have only one letter different, INFJ and INFP actually share zero common cognitive functions (in the top 4)! There are a total of eight cognitive functions with each MBTI personality type having a unique sequence of the functions. Simply put, the top or dominant function has the strongest influence on our thoughts and behaviors followed by auxiliary, tertiary…. The top-four cognitive functions of INFJs and INFPs are:
| INFJ | INFP | |
| Dominant | Introverted Intuition (Ni) – relies on abstract connections, speculates about potential and potential implications. | Introverted Feeling (Fi) – relies on value judgment – a deep understanding of personal values and beliefs, and a desire to live in congruence with them. |
| Auxiliary | Extraverted Feeling (Fe) – relies on sensitivity to the emotional states of others and feelings of harmony with the world. | Extraverted Intuition (Ne) – relies on abstract possibilities, generates novel ideas about what things can be. |
| Tertiary | Introverted Thinking (Ti) – uses personal framework of technical knowledge and skill to prevent/avoid/solve problems | Introverted Sensing (Si) – relies on sensory details, processes concrete details via comparing/contrasting with past experiences. |
| Inferior | Extraverted Sensing (Se) – maintains direct relationship to the world via physical sensations. | Extraverted Thinking (Te) – relies on knowledge of external systems, uses empirical data to make effective decisions |
For a more detailed explanation and examples for each cognitive function, click here.
Now that we have a better understanding of their cognitive functions, we can examine how these functions interact to create the foundation of great INFJ-INFP relationships.
What draws INFJ and INFP to each other?
INFJs and INFPs share a lot of similarities, which is why they are often considered to be highly compatible. Some of them include:
- Emotional compatibility
INFJs and INFPs are highly compatible due to their shared capacity for experiencing emotions on a deep and meaningful level. Both types possess a strong sense of empathy and prioritize emotional connection in their relationships. INFJs utilize their Extraverted Feeling (Fe) function to intuitively understand the emotions and needs of their partner. They often place their partner’s feelings above their own, striving to maintain peace and harmony in the relationship.
Meanwhile, INFPs use their dominant Introverted Feeling (Fi) function to remain true to their own emotions while simultaneously empathizing with their partner by understanding their emotions. Since INFJs’ Feeling function is directed outwards, they can quickly realize how others are feeling but often have trouble identifying their own emotions. INFPs help them explore their feelings by mirroring them, and provide them a safe space to express themselves without any fear of judgment.
- Intuitive connection
Both INFJs and INFPs share a deep connection through their intuitive nature. INFJs have dominant Introverted Intuition (Ni), which provides them with sudden flashes of insight into the meaning of things, sometimes in the form of images, words, or even symbols. This can be perceived as strange or confusing by other personality types, but INFPs can easily understand and appreciate their thought process, and don’t ask for logical justifications for their insights. INFPs’ auxiliary function, Extraverted Intuition (Ne), allows them to make connections between different ideas and things in their environment and make predictions. Although their Intuition is directed outwards, they can still relate to the unexplainable sense of just “knowing” about something.
This mutual understanding of intuition creates a profound level of communication and empathy between INFJs and INFPs. They are able to pick up on subtle cues and unspoken feelings, allowing them to connect on a deeper level than many other personality types. This makes them highly compatible in both friendships and romantic relationships.
- A shared disdain for shallow relationships
INFJs and INFPs share a strong aversion to shallow relationships. They prioritize deep and meaningful connections and are often dissatisfied with superficial interactions. As intuitive feelers, they crave authenticity and are drawn to others who share their values. This shared disdain for superficial relationships creates a strong bond between these two personality types, allowing them to build a relationship based on trust, emotional depth, and a mutual desire for genuine connection.
- Balanced planning and exploration:
INFJs and INFPs complement each other’s tendencies towards action and contemplation. INFPs inspire INFJs to take a more relaxed approach to their day-to-day life and enjoy the journey rather than focusing solely on the destination. On the other hand, INFJs motivate INFPs to come up with concrete plans and take action towards achieving their ideas. Together, they can strike a balance between dreaming and doing, creating a harmonious partnership.
INFJs, being a “J” type, are naturally inclined towards closure, planning, and getting things done. They tend to be perfectionists, always striving for the best solution to a problem, and often stressing about getting everything done on time. In contrast, INFPs, being a “P” type, are more focused on exploration and trying out different options. They enjoy seeing where the plan takes them, and are not as worried about sticking to a strict schedule. This is where they balance each other out. INFJs help INFPs pare down their ideas and options to the most suitable ones (using their Ni), and INFPs prevent INFJs from getting caught up in planning and overlooking opportunities for exploration (using their Ne).
- Respect for boundaries
INFJs and INFPs both have introverted personalities, and they understand the value of space and alone time. They understand that personal space is not a sign of disinterest or dislike, but a necessary part of recharging and reflecting. They appreciate each other’s need for solitude and respect it, without feeling neglected or hurt. They can match each other’s energy and wavelength, creating a harmonious balance in the relationship. Being introverts, they also prefer meaningful conversations over small talk, which deepens their emotional connection.
- Shared interests and preferences
INFJs and INFPs share a lot of common interests and values, which makes them compatible partners. They both tend to have hobbies that involve creativity and introspection, such as reading, writing, painting, or playing music. They also share a preference for people who are thoughtful and empathetic, and both tend to value deep and meaningful connections with others over superficial ones. In terms of their social lives, both INFJs and INFPs tend to prefer a small circle of close friends rather than a large group of acquaintances, and they generally prefer quieter, more low-key activities over loud, crowded events.
Additionally, both types have deep appreciation for art and the meaning it brings to life. Last but not least, they both tend to be non-materialistic, valuing meaning and depth over material possessions and superficial glamor. These shared values and interests create a strong bond between INFJs and INFPs, making them a natural match for one another.
Potential conflicts in INFJ-INFP relationships
While INFJs and INFPs share many similarities that make them compatible, their different approaches to processing and expressing emotions can create potential areas of conflict, such as below.
- Prioritization of values
While both INFJs and INFPs prioritize values, they differ in their focus. INFJs tend to prioritize social values and harmony (Fe) while INFPs prioritize their individual values and feelings (Fi). This difference in focus can lead to conflicts, especially when it comes to decision-making as a couple. Conflict can also arise when it comes to issues that affect the broader society. INFJs may be more willing to compromise their individual values in the interest of social harmony, while INFPs may get defensive and feel more strongly about sticking to their personal values, even if it means going against the norm. These differences in prioritization can lead to misunderstandings and disagreements between the two types.
- Communication challenges
Both INFJs and INFPs struggle with expressing their own needs and emotions in a clear and direct manner. INFJs may expect their partners to anticipate their emotions as they do for their partners, leading to unrealistic expectations and potential conflict. On the other hand, INFPs may become defensive and withdraw from conflict, leading to unresolved resentment. These communication challenges can put a strain on the relationship and make it difficult to maintain a healthy and fulfilling partnership.
- Pursuit of knowledge
Another potential area of conflict between INFJs and INFPs stems from their different approaches to seeking knowledge. While both types are idealistic and passionate about their beliefs, INFPs tend to have a more free-form approach to intellectual exploration, following their hunches (Ne) without worrying too much about confirmation. In contrast, INFJs are highly focused on testing and confirming their ideas and theories (due to their Ni). This divergence in approach can lead to misunderstandings, with INFPs potentially seeing INFJs as rigid and unyielding, and INFJs seeing INFPs as impractical or lost in a dream world.
- Stress Responses
Both INFJs and INFPs have different stress responses, which can cause conflict in their relationship. INFJs tend to resort to their inferior function Extraverted Sensing (Se) under stress, leading to self-indulgence in sensory pleasures like binge-eating, smoking, drinking, or watching TV for hours, while ignoring their responsibilities. On the other hand, INFPs under stress tend to resort to their inferior function, Extraverted Thinking (Te), overwhelmed by an urge to organize their surroundings and frantically “fix” things.
This can cause conflict between them when INFJs give in to their desires and engage in sensory activities. As a result, INFPs may perceive them as irresponsible or selfish, which could lead to resentment. In the same way, when INFPs become critical, extremely focused, and tend to blame others, INFJs may view them as overpowering or harsh, which can cause tension and disagreements in their relationship.
Keeping the spark alive: Tips for a healthy INFJ-INFP relationship
To improve your relationship, it’s important for both INFPs and INFJs to remember that the other person is sensitive and has their own unique needs. INFPs should be willing to open up about their thoughts and feelings, which will help INFJs feel that the relationship is healthy and intimate. INFJs should be mindful of INFPs’ strong values and avoid pressuring them to conform to their own beliefs. Instead, they should approach inquiries with a non-judgmental tone.
When problems arise, it’s important for both INFJs and INFPs to communicate openly and calmly, focusing on the behavior or action rather than attacking the person. They should avoid letting problems fester and seek to resolve them together, with empathy and understanding.
Finally, it’s important to have interests outside of the relationship, to avoid becoming overly focused or dependent on each other.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the INFJ-INFP pairing is a truly fascinating and harmonious relationship dynamic. The combination of the INFJ’s deep intuition and insight with the INFP’s profound empathy and authenticity creates a deep connection that is both rare and beautiful. These two personality types have the ability to understand and appreciate each other on a level that few others can reach. While there may be challenges along the way, these two personality types have a lot to offer each other, and can create a deep and fulfilling connection if they’re willing to communicate openly and work together.
However, the journey doesn’t end here. To enhance their connection and better understand themselves and each other, INFJs and INFPs in a relationship should continue to explore their personality type in more depth. You can check out the detailed INFJ and INFP type descriptions on our website, and additional valuable insights into your own and your partner’s personality traits, strengths, and weaknesses. Armed with this understanding, INFJ and INFP partners can learn how to support each other in more customized ways and navigate the intricacies of their relationship more effectively.